I recently wrote a book about Stoicism and immediately I find myself under pressure from a situation, seemingly, out of my control. I am a humble renter living in an apartment on the second floor. I have a lock up garage on the ground floor, as part of my contracted lease agreement. There are just three apartments in this small building. The strange and nasty event that has landed upon me is that the guy downstairs is blocking my access to my garage and vehicle by parking his vehicles in front of the garage doors. I have asked him several times to please stop doing this. The other day I told him that I had contacted the property manger about it and was taking legal advice on the matter. He went ballistic and attacked me, punching my car as I got out of it. He shoved his face into mine and went on a tirade about how I was just a scummy renter and that he owned his apartment. He blamed me for the situation, despite the fact that he chooses not to use his garage for his vehicles, using the space as a workshop instead. The abuse and threats to my life went on for about 15 minutes. I was in shock at this display of abusive aggression in my own home space.
The Abuser Out Of Control Downstairs
I contacted a bunch of people after this violent encounter and went to the police to report the altercation after taking some advice from a policeman friend and my brother. It felt strange being in this situation over something so innocuous as a parking space. The level of abuse, anger and physical intimidation was such that I could not ignore it. I, also, knew that this would not be the last of it, as the situation was unresolved. It is weird to feel fear after a long time without it. The matter did affect me, as I stayed in my apartment more often to avoid another encounter with this crazed guy. He disappeared for a week, as I attempted to find out his name for the police report. In the modern world we often do not know our neighbours’ names.
The Bully Below Blocking My Way
A couple of weeks went by and I had no problems the few times I took the car out to shop and do essentials. Then, last Friday I came downstairs and saw that he had parked both his vehicles up against the garage doors. I could get my car out but knew I would not be able to get it back in because of the restricted access from the driveway. I have to be able to manoeuvre across the adjacent garage door to get the angle right in the very restricted space. Sure enough upon my return I was subject to another abusive serve, when he was forced to move his ute so that I could get in to my garage space.
A lot of strange stuff goes through your head when you are faced with unjustified persecution like this. Anger, frustration, and crazy thoughts. The property manager makes the right noises but is limited in what she has achieved so far. The Body Corporate manager is the owner of the top floor apartment, who is never there, as it is a holiday apartment. I had received a promise via my property manager that it would not happen again but this bloke just ignores my rights under the body corporate laws. What to do?
I am paying a lot of rent on this place because of the inflationary times we live in. I don’t want to live somewhere I cannot have free and easy access to my own garage space. I sense that this guy is bullying me out of the building by his behaviour. Obviously, I want to fightback. I, also, can see physical violence spiralling out of control to the detriment of me in a number of possible ways. I am trying to manoeuvre my way through this with some rationality. I don’t want to end up in prison over this awful bloke either. I can cut my losses and move on. I have travelled the path of least resistance most often in my life and this has me temporarily trapped in my own home. The system is failing me in terms of law and order options right now.
Which brings me back to Stoicism. The Stoics emphasised the importance of accepting what is beyond our control and focusing instead on developing our own character and inner peace. Marcus Aurelius writes about the importance of accepting what is beyond our control, cultivating inner peace, and performing our duties in life with integrity and wisdom. This too will pass, may be a good thing to remember right at this moment, as well. Stoicism advocates accepting everything that happens, including both good and bad, as a natural part of life.
Stoics rise above their circumstances via their character and commitment to virtuousness. The power is within and not from without. Only victims give away their power to outside agencies. Tranquility and inner peace are available once you have regained control of your emotional responses to events in your life. Resilience comes to those who grasp this mantle in their lives.
Robert Sudha Hamilton is the author of The Stoic Golfer: Finding Inner Peace & Focus on the Fairway. Available at Amazon
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